Soar

I went to IPSB’s 2012 graduation ceremony on Sunday. It was a small gathering. I arrived with a speech in hand which I had not ‘practiced’ for more than about 12 minutes since writing the thing. But I knew what to say. The speech was attached to a string that went straight into my heart. It would be hard to forget what that means.

My experience was interesting.. I was able to observe the physical changes happening in my body as I waited to give the speech, stood and spoke for 4 minutes, and waited again as the ceremony continued. As I sat through the opening ceremony I felt fairly calm but my throat was so dry it hurt and it was hard to swallow. Of all the times to forget a water bottle.. anyway, I thought I wasn’t going to be able to speak when the time came. My stomach was twisting in knots.

When I was called up to the podium I focused on my breath and moved slowly, with intention. It was uncomfortable up there. As I shared the speech I made sure to look at as many people as possible. I wanted to see them see and hear me. I wanted to speak to each of them.

After I was complete I returned to my seat and observed my body as it began to shake uncontrollably. I started to sweat and my body got cold. This went on for a good 8 minutes or so then began to return to normal.Β This is an improvement.

I’m grateful for the invitation to speak at the ceremony on behalf of the HHP graduating class. I learned many things about myself through the process of writing and presenting the speech. Although I have completed my program at the school, I am still learning. Every day I am learning and changing and growing.

Many thanks to IPSB.. the school, the teachings, and the people.

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Congratulations to my fellow IPSB graduates! We are all destined to do great things.

Graduation and Procrastination

It’s been nearly 8 months since I completed my Holistic Health Practitioner program at the International Professional School of Bodywork in San Diego. Now it’s less than a week until I officially graduate. I was not Β ever planning to attend the graduation ceremony. I was content just knowing I had completed the program. But then I received an email, a request to speak on behalf of the HHP graduating class. My first thought was no way! Not only do I not want to go to the ceremony but the last thing I want to do is stand in front of everyone, in the spotlight, and speak for 4 minutes. Not my cup of tea. At all.

Needless to say, I accepted. I can’t ignore the fact that this is a wonderful opportunity for me to face my fears. I am well aware of the fact that I don’t like to be the center of attention. I don’t like to be the one who’s talking while everyone is listening. I prefer to be silent and invisible. Public speaking is something I avoid like the plague. It terrifies me.

But I said yes. I said yes even though I wanted to say no. I said yes because I know I will grow.

This last week, off and on, I’ve been working on my speech. I’ve been remembering my experience during the two and a half years I went to school at IPSB and I’m realizing that I am a completely different person today than I was when I first walked through the doors nearly 3 years ago. I look different, I feel different, I communicate differently, I breathe different. I am a new being. Even thought I’m in the same physical body it has transformed in enormous and fantastic ways!

I am amazed at my own progress. And I am aware of some things that have not changed so much. Here I am, sitting at my favorite cafe with my laptop and my mexican mocha, ready to complete my speech. But, wait, I’m writing a blog post? Yes. This is called procrastination. I am very good at it.

So why has this not changed? Because I work well under pressure? I’m not really sure. I’ve always been this way. I remember starting big projects (as early as 2nd and 3rd grade) the night before they were due. I would get super stressed out and freak out to my parents. Then I would find a starting point (usually with the help of my mom who was appalled that I had waited until the last minute, again!) as this is the hardest part for me. Give me an outline and I have a much easier time. Throw me an idea or concept and I’ll stress about it for weeks!

Once I got started, though, I’d push through. I’d stay up until the early morning hours, until I could hardly keep my eyes open writing, drawing, cutting and pasting. And the amazing thing is that I’d go to school the next day with a fabulous project. I’d get an A and the teacher would praise me or use my project as an example for the rest of the students to see. And I would be half asleep wondering why the heck I couldn’t manage my time and energy better.

My life at IPSB wasn’t any different. I remember starting my business plan for Department of Success a couple of days before it was due (don’t tell Shari!). And, again, it turned out great. I missed a quarter of a point on the whole project. Oops.

So is this procrastination a problem? I guess not. But I’m trying really hard to procrastinate less and prepare myself sooner. Mostly just to avoid the stress I experience the night before the due date. So although I’m doing a really good job of procrastinating right now I think I’ll get back to this speech. My goal : have speech completed by Thursday.

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